Inside Demi Lovato’s Support System: How Her Closest Relationships Have Held Her Up and Knocked Her Down Over the Years

As tends to be the case, friends and boyfriends have come and gone from the 25-year-old’s life over the years, with only a select few remaining in the inner circle, by her design. Unfortunately, being surrounded by certain friends didn’t help her avoid a downward spiral, which resulted in Demi being rushed to the hospital yesterday, hours after she’d been at a birthday party Monday night in West Hollywood. Demi’s mom, Dianna De La Garza, and sisters Dallas Lovato and Madison De La Garza, all of whom have remained in her orbit through good times and bad, went to be with her at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center.

“I thought I could change him, and I think victims of domestic abuse often feel the same way,” Dianna wrote in her new memoir Falling With Wings: A Mother’s Story, which chronicles her own experience and her famous daughter’s troubles. “You’re not always going to be able to change someone, no matter how much you want to. There may come a point where your love for that person may not be enough to keep you safe.”

So, she left, taking Demi and Dallas with her to a women’s shelter.

“I’m so proud of my mom for achieving something she’s always wanted to do—tell her story,” Demi told People recently. “She’s resilient, inspiring and strong. Because of her journey and strength to overcome the obstacles that she’s faced in her life, she is my hero.”

Demi has been among the most candid celebrities of the past decade when it comes to being open about her myriad issues, including her battle with bulimia, being diagnosed with bipolar disorder and practicing self-harm.

“Even though I was 2 or 3 years old, being around somebody who… had an active eating disorder… it’s hard not to grow up like that,” Demi reflected in the movie.

“She was living two lives,” her longtime manager Phil McIntyre recalled in Simply Complicated. “…Once the camera stops rolling, she’s living another life. She couldn’t really be herself. She couldn’t be a normal teenager.” Sure enough, there was a tipping point.

She went to rehab in November 2010 at the age of 18 after a public outburst, which included punching a backup dancer in the face, in South America while on tour with the Jonas Brothers, about six months after her relationship with Joe Jonas ended.

Smashing her phone—”the gateway to everything,” to the drugs, the partying, the wrong people—wasn’t enough. Phil had her dunk it in a vase of water.  Demi in turn spent her first year as a judge on The X Factor in 2012 living in a sober apartment, with roommates, doing chores.

Throughout her career, Demi has had a more—not quite personal, but intense—relationship with her fans than most stars, engaging with them frequently on social media and  going out of her way to make them feel appreciated, be it in person, on Twitter or from the stage, where the Unbroken artist regularly weaves life lessons in among the songs.

“Every time someone asks me for a picture or an autograph, even if I’m having a bad day and I’m in a bad mood, I remember, ‘You’re nothing without this person.’ They make it special,” she reflected in the 2012 MTV documentary Demi Lovato: Stay Strong (which, she revealed in Simply Complicated, she did an interview for while on cocaine).

“Stone cold helped me when I was going through a breakup sorry not sorry helped me become unapologetically myself Skyscraper brought me out of depression Confident made me feel like I could take on the world Really dont care helped me remember my worth. #HowDemiHasHelpedMe,” fan Caity tweeted Tuesday night.

“I miss her more than words can even describe,” Demi wrote in tribute. “There is an emptiness in my heart that only her spirit can fill and I pray that I will feel her by my side every single day until we meet again. I attribute my strength to her. She held on when she lost the love of her life. The one she was married to for 53 years. She smiled even though she lost a son just this year. She told everyone she loved them every single chance she got and she joked even when her strokes left her unable to speak properly.”

Lovato told Billboard earlier this year that she had a “terrible experience” at the 2016 Met Gala. “This one celebrity was a complete bitch and was miserable to be around. It was very cliquey. I remember being so uncomfortable that I wanted to drink.” She skipped the after-party and went to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, still wearing her diamonds.

“The people that aren’t willing to chill with you at home are the type of people that just want to be seen with you,” Demi told Billboard. “When Ariana Grande and I hang out, it’s super chill.” As for Iggy, “She’s super low-key; she doesn’t drink or party. She has struggled a lot. ‘No money, no family, 16 in the middle of Miami.’ That lyric explains a lot of her story. She’s very outspoken, and sometimes it can turn people off. But that’s one of the reasons I love her. She’s not the type of person who lies to you.”

While reflecting on their relationship, Joe frankly referred to Demi’s past drug abuse and how hard that was to deal with in a 2013 article in New York magazine, which gave Demi pause. “I was like, ‘Look, I’m not mad at you but you need to choose your words more carefully next time,'” she told. At the same time, Demi continued, “Joe and I argue like brother and sister and [he’s] always going to be in my life. He meant no harm and he’s never had a chance to tell his side of the story so I’m proud of him.”

Despite the trauma attached to that time, she and Joe are on good terms, and his brother Nick Jonas remains a close friend.

Demi’s once-close relationship with Selena Gomez, who’s had her own struggles that have required treatment, is the stuff of backstabbing legend. “Ask Taylor!” Demi once fired back at a paparazzo who inquired about Selena, implying Taylor Swift had something to do with the demise of their friendship. Then there were rumors that Demi was among the many who took issue with Selena’s off-and-on relationship with Justin Bieber.

Asked if it had anything to do with a “particular relationship choice,” she said, “Not really. Not anymore.”

Bieber appeared to be “maturing,” she acknowledged. “But, you know, when you’re young and you get older, you change and people change. You have things in common, and then all of a sudden, you don’t. It’s just a part of life.”

“i love u @ddlovato,” Grande tweeted simply in response to the news. Her mom, Joan Grande, meanwhile, went into more detail Wednesday, paying tribute to Demi for always being such a positive force of energy for her family, including Ariana’s brother Frankie Grande, who recently marked a year of sobriety.

Kevin Jonas, also among the growing-up-Disney set, tweeted, “Sending my prayers and thoughts to @ddlovato and her family right now.

Staying publicly silent for now is Wilmer Valderrama, Demi’s at-times very serious boyfriend over the years, whom she seemingly remained close to after they broke up in 2016. They still spent time together and were out having lunch as recently as February.

As for now, a source told People that Wilmer is “shocked” by Demi’s hospitalization.

“He knew she was going through a tough time but he wasn’t prepared for this,” the source said. “He saw her through so many ups and downs and was her rock through some of her darkest moments. To see her back in such a sad and vulnerable place is heartbreaking for him.”

But even the closest friends can only get so close to the truth. Demi remains hospitalized, surrounded by loved ones who have seen her struggle and whose main concern right now is that she keeps living to fight another day.